Are Mung beans life saving little monsters? 

Dutch translation

Mung beans, ‘what the Bleep are Mung beans’; was the very first ever reaction I had when I sat half dead in my bed in the summer of 2013.

That particular year would go into my personal history book as the most scary, anxious, futureless and desperate period of my life. Not knowing if I would ever survive or even ever should be walking again or seeing daylight again. (Not a joke) Not knowing if I would ever again bite someone’s finger off or stalk celebrities with a microphone once again.

I already had been sick for twenty years at that time and I couldn’t afford any treatment and alternative medicines anymore which had helped me enormous before.

Conventional medicine troops

And NO the conventional medicine troops with all their master degrees were not able to figure out why I suddenly had transformed into a sentient broccoli floret with an existential crisis (or zombie).

Pondering about the absurdity of vegetable consciousness was an edgy topic they never seemed to have covered during all those money devouring university classes. That left me feeling like a blob of existential mess, clinging desperately to my last energy levels while facing their useless researches on me.

I learned a lot during the first years of being a total physical wreck. Don’t fall for the grandiose tales spun from the pill-pushing overlords when they claim their chemical concoctions are the one and only treatments on earth. They act like the divine rulers of the medicine kingdom, while alternative treatments are banished to the land of forgotten fairy tales. They want you to believe that chemical medicines are the holy grail; it’s like saying a tricycle can outrun a rocket ship.

The moment I got sick in 1993 the day after giving birth to a then future quadridexter; all my believes of what I was thought until then and trust in authorities went down the drain in a split second. It even became worse since then because I started to think for myself instead of letting anybody think and decide for me.

I’m not going into further detail anymore (I deleted all those blogs!) because then I maybe end up becoming dangerous to some people. And maybe even mess up your brain real good and we don’t want to do that anymore are we? I think you have to sort ‘the other side of this system’ out yourself. Plenty of information on internet for that.

I developed a severe intolerance for people, I mean for all kind of food

So without my medicines and supplements I suddenly became weaker and weaker and I must have been suffered an awkward foreign virus from which my body didn’t had the answer to anymore to resist it. I told my body to fight it as good as it could, but it wouldn’t listen to me very good and I almost gave up,

To save you from a dreadful story (which did last 7 months without walking and seeing daylight) that I rather want to forget for ever, I immediately jump to the title of this blog. ‘Are Mung beans life saving little monsters? ‘

The moment I suddenly got sick; I instantly developed a severe intolerance for people, I mean for all kind of food and to be exact: for MY WHOLE DIET which I had untill then. Which was three times a day bread, 1x oat meal and at night potatoes, vegetables and some vegetarian thingies instead of meat.

The major intolerance consisted of continues diarrhea because of eating approximately 15 pieces of bread with marmelade every day. Palpitation because of spaghetti, sauces, vegetables, eggs, fruit, potatoes and everything else that fits in your mouth.

It totally didn’t matter what and how much went into my stomach, it apparently didn’t soak up all the nutrients because I always felt empty. Somehow it dissappeared in a split second to the mysterious inexplicable hungry demons.

Then came this moment that I couldn’t bear beans anymore; brown beans, white beans, kidney beans, stupid beans and what-ever-beans.

Because of an apparently heavy virus, my body was, especially now, also in this instant empty-anything-that-comes-inside state. Meaning that the whole diet which I had until then, was totally wiped out and that I felt chronic weak and crap. And that is a huge understatement and I’ll save you the very details of how I really felt; but it wasn’t much fun I can tell ya that.

I find myself craving every 5 minutes

My body was craving every 3 minutes for food and if I didn’t eat something I would have probaly died, not joking. This feeling was horrible and husband did everything in his power to fuel my stomach and nutrients lack. Which was tough to do because there was no food left that I could tolerate and I was loosing weight very very fast: 5kg in three days. And since I’ve always been skinny as Olive (yes that stem from Popey) it was not such a good idea to loose even more weight if I didn’t to want end up as walking skeleton.

I had to replace the 15 sandwiches, beans and other food I normally was used to, so husband had to search very hard to find something nutricious and healthy substitutes besides fermented Brussels sprouts smoothie and baked babies.

Since I had to eat every 5 minutes for 24 hours every day I had to invent a new diet myself to survive. So I did that and Mung beans was one of them. I could vary Mung with oatmeals, three sanwiches and quinoa with tofu, paprika, peas and green beans.

SuperMung

Everybody out of the way: SuperMung to the rescue! Mung is here to take your hungry feeling away in a split second. Or two. They have the power to turn even the grumpiest of carnivores into ugly-bean-but-oh-so-nutrient lovers.

Not.

It could have been this way, wasn’t it for the following grossly Mung-facts

So now we’re coming to the disgusting part of this blog and the question ‘what on earth are Mung beans?’.

Well like I said: a drastic ‘disgusting’ type of bean which in a million years can not compete with the chemical toxic hamburgers of McDonalds.

Mung beans are one of the most extreme healthy foods on this earth and also one of the ugliest and disgusting tasting food on earth if you prepare it the way I do.

On the internet they talk about ‘super delicious’; but I personally don’t think so and really don’t know how they came up with that ridiculous claim.

Unless you like the tast of cardboard with a touch of ant pee, there might be a chance to do a little hop while yummyyummy at the bean.

These legume species, or katjang beans, are being used yet for thousand years in India and China. They are super ugly but super nutricious.

Mung has vitamin C in abundance; they contain magnesium, vitamin B, minerals and fiber and are very rich in potassium which makes for a good functioning of the heart and blood vessels.

The unknown Super-Food are par excellence real detox-beans: they keep your inner body clean and are easily digestible. It ensures that you don’t blow away people at unguarded moments, that your stomach falls onto the ground, that you accidentally burp your superior in the face or that you look like you have to do a number two while you’re standing in line (3000people) at Disney’s with the feeling you’re gonna explode and that shows unfortunately major in your pretty face.

The disgusting beans (that’s only because I’m too lazy to process them in a delicious recipe) are also ideal for people with too much blood sugar fluctuations. The green monstrosities are very slow in issuing of carbohydrates which does result in a constant energy level so you can join the Olympics one day.

You probably wouldn’t expect it, but the tiny beanies are a huge source of protein and therefor extremely suitable to replace meat. That’s why it is very popular amongst vegetarians. Who now all swear by a dish of spew.

So as you can read, this specific unknown tiny vegetable thingy produced by Mother Nature can be very important for ones health and especially mine. I really can say that mung beans saved my life at the moment I could not even tolerate a shoe.

Yukk

I’ve now eaten them for the last eleven years every day, I’ve a real Mung-head now, at noon and when I eat them I put my mindset on zero to swith off my taste conscious. The beans taste very yukk and dry if you eat them plain like me; with only a bit of olive oil, pinch of sea salt and a bit of garlic powder.

If you don’t cook them long enough they get stuck in your throat aswell which then becomes as dangerous as romping with a crocoldile. Are you still inpsired by this ugly, yukki and dangerous super nutricious and not cute grain?

Don’t worry; it’s me: I make the most simple recipe with it you can think of, but ofcourse there are many ways you can prepare them.

Sometimes I put them in a terracotta tomato or pea soup and than you can’t even imagine you are swallowing a bowl with nutricious puke.

If you want to be updated by Mung recipies which I’m going to sacrifice my life for:

Read also this for more puke-stories