An octopus came out of my belly
Dutch Translation Never in a million years I would have thought, I would be giving birth to an actual Octopus. You know; the one with a ton of arms and legs: or are they...
Category: Who’s gonna read this anyway
Ik heb een octopus gebaard…
English Translation In geen miljoen jaar had ik ooit gedacht dat ik een octopus op de wereld zou zetten. Je weet wel; zo’n ding met tachtig armen en benen, of zijn het alleen armen,...
50-Year-Old Pencils That Outlasted Great Glitter Shortage
Dutch Translation These pencils, yes, 50 years old or more; have outlasted the great glitter shortage, flip phones, the rise and fall of tamagotchi empires, my questionable attempt at macramé wall art.and my patience...
50 Jaar Oude Potloden Die De Grote Glittertekorten Overleefden
English Translation Deze potloden, zijn 50 jaar oud (of zelfs ouder); hebben de grote glittertekorten, fliptelefoons, de opkomst en ondergang van de tamagotchi-empires, mijn twijfelachtige poging tot macramé-wandkunst en mijn geduld voor moderne potloden...
From Diva to Disaster in Days
Dutch translation Okay, people. Let’s talk about my latest foray into floral folly. My husband snagged this GORGEOUS dahlia at the market last week. We’re talking a showstopper, blooms the size of my head...
Van Diva naar Drama in Dagen
Engelse vertaling Oké mensen, laten we het ff hebben over mijn nieuwste bloementafereel. Mijn man scoorde vorige week deze PRACHTIGE dahlia op de markt. We hebben ‘t over een spektakelstuk, met bloemen zo groot...
Decoding My Cryptic Celesta-Menu Changes
What’s Behind the Celesta-Menu Shift Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn’t: but my Celesta-menu has changed a tiny bit. It’s not that shocking; but if you know what’s behind it; it maybe well could...
Unearthed Identity: Embracing My Inner F1 Hybrid Radish Ego
F1 When you suddenly discover you were a vegetable all along It’s not that I really always wanted to be one. But you know; you can change your mind on things. Sometimes. Sometimes. I’m...
The Freedom Head Barbecue
And then came the moment of the freedom head barbecue you never thought would came; but apparently it did on Liberation Day May 5, during the national freedom feast of the Netherlands. Allthough I...
Getting on my nerves
You can’t bring a thing! Sometimes I wonder what I’m still doing on this awful disturbing planet full with evil people who are all busy and collecting all kind of useless things you possibly...
This video shows me lying
This TikTok video of mine is of course one big joke. At least for me personally, but I can assure you it is totally relevant to the majority of people on this earth f***....
When bread destroys you and naked oat abandons you
How do you feel about bread? As in ‘sandwiches’? Now you have to ask me. Alright I’ll answer: I have been a total sandwich addict half of my life. Three meters of thick butter...
People will remain stupid until the end of time
Note to self Today try not to hate any people on the internet or your environment because they can’t help it, and they will remain stupid until the end of time; for ever and...
What if I was an unknown talking specie
What if I was born as an unknown talking specie and I was the only one on this planet. I don’t mean some sort of tiny insect or bacteria, they don’t talk; but one...
Please Let Me Know
Hi Future People. I hope you got my first letter; because I am not sure if I am wasting my time writing you a second letter. Maybe your future is so advanced; you perhaps...
The real Harry Potter
You know: some things in life you just have to play back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth like until your head...
Peeing talking to a chicken
Me talking to a chicken or peeing in my pants: it all depends on how you look at it. But why would you be so insane to talk to a chicken. So I guess...
Stuck in 2021
Have you ever been teleported to an entire different era? Well if you did: you got a problem. A huge one if you ask me. Coming from a different time-zone in space and time...
Eating towels (is way better than hamburgers)
Imagine you are a snake, maybe you even already are one and maybe not. So you are a Python, you know a teenage Python, so you’re not too small and not yet an adult...
Hypnotized by alpacas
If you ever want to experience a relaxed walk and a good conversation from a beautiful, cute and intelligent creature: then don’t come to me. LOL. Then go to an Alpaca resort (one where...
