Evaluation 12 years Twitter

My 12yrs on Twitter in 3 words

What is Twitter for you in 3 words?

Can you describe your life on Twitter in 3 words for the time you have been a Tweepy Tweep? (does this word already exist? Or is ‘Tweep’ Not Done now adays?) I don’t know my three words yet; so you have to read on or scroll down and look somewhere. I might even get you a Twitter Tip at the end.

Content:

You-can-talk-with-everybody-on-a-device-social-club

2008 was the year my life was enriched with the arrival of the here to stay magical you-can-talk-with-everybody-on-a-device-social-club called ‘Twitter’.
That was something! It was also the year when I changed my corny mobile phone equipment to an iPhone which made it even cooler! I could let everyone know what I was doing at that very moment, which was for example setting the house almost on fire while cooking Dutch pancakes, the very moments I changed my socks or when I live tweeted that I almost run over this famous (in Holland) actress Loes Luca, who was suddenly crossing the street with her little doggie. She unexpectedly out of nowhere stood there on the crosswalk right in the middle of Rotterdam in this quiet neighborhood so that was Tweet-worthy and the very Tweet moment I texted my daughter in the other room instead of just going to her room, walk in, stand there, open my mouth and let spoken words do their work. Why on earth do that if you can text.

It was a lot of fun and most people participated since there were not yet involved companies, spammers, bullies, gurus, social network gurus, life coaches, business coaches, shop coaches, pick-your-nose-coaches or what ever coach you can think of to ruin the whole empty talk sharing experience. Baloney talks were simple, but they were good.

At that time people still were interested in each other and there was no such thing as ‘ego’ or fake profiles. We laughed a lot, made (Twitter) ‘friends’ with new people and turned the internet upside down with nonsense (which was the most joyful part of all), but most of all helped each other out when you made a mess of your computer or needed advice on how to rescue an iPhone at the morning I woke up because of a major noise coming out of the bathroom. The iPhone of Rajacenna had fallen into the toilet! Or when you have a situation outside your house like a man laying on the pavement in the dark late at night in front of our house. Out of nowhere this man was laying on the ground as if he was lying on the beach on a tropical island. You could and still can share it all, back then inclusive interaction from other Tweeps.

Always having fun on Twitter is which I prefer most and which was far from serious business talks. Being able to totally talk rubbish and just be your total crazy self without being attacked by marketing snobs experts (some think they are) to mislead you to their fantastic how-to-be-a-fantastic-social-networker-tips, how-to-become-number-one-on-internet-knowledge (probably not knowing themselves that we really just can’t be all 7 billion be number 1 all at the same time) or mislead you by telling everyone the fine secrets on how-to-get-your-business-to-11-figures-or-more.

First squad tweeps

We were the first squad tweeps and everybody declared us crazy. I received all kind of messages from people I introduced to the new born network, like: ‘Twitter? What on earth is that!’, ‘Not going on Twitter’ or ‘Not me I wanna be sitting on the toilet in peace’.
Which wasn’t such a big deal because the limited group we had, was ok and clear to follow. The only thing that bothered me was that I had to deal with one million dirty minded married men which taught me immediately to ignore most guys.

Several of my Tweep friends (also called followers, but that sounds very impersonal) were also complaining about this. These hormone heads all were (still are) there looking for digital affairs, which if you know me can maybe end up biting your fingers off but only if I should meet you in real life so there are a bunch of hormones sufferers (also named ‘men’) lucky they don’t know me in real life. And as I think of it: I should have hired some dick-biter to do a much better job than biting simple fingers because those men don’t deserve to have a front tail.

Also on Twitter I still could register accounts on the names of MileyCyrus, Michael Jackson and Madonna, but while registering Madonna I suddenly figured she would probably slap me to pulp and then organize a tremendous lawsuit against me so I changed my mind immediately there. Oprah was already registered I think; I think I tried that and thought about why she didn’t yet tweeted something.

Crazy girl on Twitter

During the early Twitter days (2008) my followers were witness of the birth of a realistic drawing prodigy. They supported me while I’d almost cut my finger off on some stupid piece of paper which hurt like crazy.
They were with me on the scene when I was attacked by this deafening drill spectacle by some neighbors. Everybody on Twitter (well almost everybody) accompanied me and daughter when we went to the Apple store to buy our first iPhones.

I shared (verbally) the crazy faces from daughter (15y) who sat behind her computer playing a game which resulted in weird facial behavior. My tweeps were on the spot while we were interviewing celebrities and I tweeted all ins and outs while waiting with them in green rooms and also while being photographed for a newspaper sniffling and all.
I also shared the moment Rajacenna was invited to the Millionaires fair and as only person in the world was allowed to play on Pamela Andersons just bought piano.

One day my neighbor couldn’t get in to her house anymore because the door fell in the lock while her key was inside the house. So we decided to play for burglar and fabricated a door opener for her. Husband (I have no clue, or maybe I do, what he had been doing before our life together) put together a garment pendant to a golf club of his, to subsequently poke it through the mailbox.

With success after twenty minutes of trying and poking while people were passing our house wondering themselves why on earth someone would break in people’s houses on broad daylight. It gave us that rather nasty feeling being watched by passing people thinking we were criminals and at the same time didn’t even call the police which was the most awkward thing about the whole situation. We decided to yell that we were the owners and that we really live here, but they still looked at us with a disapproved look which made me make a big paper sign to put on our back saying “we do live here: neighbor lost her keys”.
We finally managed, well huspup did, to open her house and all was well. During this whole charade I tweeted every single detail about this adventure.

They supported me while being frozen to the sofa at home in the middle of the winter with 20 degrees Celsius below zero when our heater stopped working in the house and waiting for the repairman who took it rather slowly, probably to see me all icing up in person so he could tweet about it himself, but at the time I don’t think heater repair men were yet registered on Twitter because Twitter was still for first degree virtual life seekers. Anyways I waited together with my Tweeps fam.

And also the early morning I woke up from a phone call on my iPhone from husband who in fact was sleeping next to me, but had pushed the call Celesta button instead of pressing the alarm button. Wasn’t that a smart move of him.

Telling my always listening tweeps that I dreamt that night of having a small rabbit……. who was meowing!! Well, that’s major world news wouldn’t you think.
Tweeting about saving a butterfly in the garden by giving him or her sugar water to drink. My Tweeps were totally glued to my butterfly-rescue-updates.

My Twitter friends were witness when I was almost poisoned by my daughter with my first ever cucumber broth juice under the severe eye of my troublesome looking husband while daughter was performing her cucumber pitch to me.
The socalled friends got noticed when I had this discussion with my 15 year old daughter at the time who really didn’t had a clue why on earth she should be on Twitter. And in fact she still doesn’t know twelve years later.

They slowly also came to realize it was some crazy girl they followed on Twitter. A girl who doesn’t really matter what people think of her, says what she wants, makes you look in the mirror sometimes and gets thrown out of public places often together with her mother because of taking life with a huge (mainly loudly) giggling attack.
A girl who doesn’t have a life outside social networks because of illness. Hooray for digital social networks; but don’t try to sell me something there or pretend to be an expert of something without having 25 years of experience first on the subject. A girl who continuously talks rubbish, because life is rubbish.

My first ever tweet

When writing this blog I also thought it was fun to search what my first ever tweet had been and I was rather amazed learning that I didn’t wrote “first tweet” or “I am on Twitter” from which I could have swore I’d wrote that.
Nooo not at all folks; my first tweet had been: “veryyyyyy dark out here and thunder” and second tweet “that is not gonna be table tennis play time within the next hour or so” with a photo included.
Sounds much more creative than “first tweet” doesn’t it? And I didn’t even wrote that on purpose, but totally without thinking about it, because Twitter wasn’t big at that moment in time, so who cares what you would have written.

Self-made-all-and-everything-people

Gradually Twitter became big though; which I didn’t find that amusing at all. The know-it-alls entered and the big-mouths too who gave an unpleasant ambiance to the then already existing accommodating Twitter society.
With all those sharp tongues toggling all over the place, you did think twice before yelling you found a baby hedge hog in your garden. Asking if there exists something called ‘hedge hog rescue; which maybe sounded ridiculous for not-animal-lovers, but in fact did exist and came to rescue the little fellow, who seemed to be under fed and which gained strength in that follow week fortunately.

Until the big mostly empty headed crowd (is that an insult? Probably) came on Twitter, you could always count on fellow tweeps when you had computer or iPhone problems. You could choose out of 300 answers at once to solve how go get all of the peanut butter out of your keyboard and your hair; don’t ask how it came to be.

Nowadays nobody cares about fellow human beings anymore. Nobody doesn’t care anymore if you have serious conversations with your bicycle tyre which goes flat evey time you take a ride even after bying a new one.
Nowadays Twitter is bulging with self made entrepreneurs, marketing experts, gurus, life and business coaches, know-it-alls-in-every-topic-you-can-think-of and how-to-solve-all-the-problems-in-your-life-scams-peeps. They all are trying to lure you into debt to fill their wallet.

And then we have the over population of 4-7-year old business- and life coaches, influencers cq millionaire which I can’t stand and which should be forbidden.
They all have a daily duty: follow and unfollow people like crazy or let someone do that for them. Follow and then subsequently unfollow is a serious business. It is business to let people believe you are very interested in them and not tell them you only are immense egocentric, narcistic and love yourself more than anybody else, what in itself is a good thing.
Don’t let them fool you though by thinking they are popular, because that is one big disillusion. Unless you’ve been on tv or on the news, you might have gained followers all by yourself, but the majority of twitter (and other social) stars initially bought and faked themselves into fame and popularity, legally or illegal.

Dripping off here: what I’m trying to say is that Twitter used to be social and nowadays it is not so much anymore. The place is a pool of anti-social social networkers who mostly don’t even know anymore how to be ordinary human beings and mostly care for money. You know; the ones that really really are interested in you, interact with you and babbles with you about simply ‘nothing’. Because that’s the fun part: babbling about nothing, nothing and nothing.

I don’t think Twitter is going to be the Twitter from the old days ever again, unfortunately. The days from simply laughing and babbling through Twitter without getting a nasty opinion or totally inexperienced advice thrown to your head.

My 12yrs on Twitter in 3 words:

• ‘Missing Old Days’ (which makes it officially 5 words).
• ‘Twitter has become one lousy dull caboodle’; would have been a great title also and contains 7 words.
• ‘Twitter you’ve lost it.’ Well let’s face it: I can’t find three words! Do you? Let me know.

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