WHERE IS MY KITTEN

Spring 1989 and since six months I had my own apartment (maisonette) 10 meters from my elderly home.

My brother came home from his weekend trip with his girlfiend and family and apparently they had paid a visit to the famous Belgium bird market Antwerp.

For those who haven’t heard about this market: this used to be a market full with thousands of birds and other related feathered business flying all over the place spreading there bird droppings. A place where yet in the Middle Ages poultry and rodents were sold; but where that is today only a small percentage they offer.

It now is a tourist market where you can buy general merchandise, clothing, delicacies and accessories, but also stalls with antiques and second-hand items.

Furry harem

So strolling around this immense flea market my brother and his girlfriend came across stands with a hysterical sound of beeping kittens. All crying for their mom where they had been taken away from far too early in their lives.

Sitting there in the middle of this swarm of ‘you-can’t-leave-me-here-on-this-rotten-market’ begging furry harem, was this tiny silent red kitten.

Staring to my brother with his irresistible heartbreaking beady eyelets. I think they must have been taught to be totally as hard as they could irresistible to human eyes on purpose; so they sell better. I think it is a real job you know.

Well it didn’t work with my brother haha; butt his girlfriend was standing there melting away while looking in those touching kitten eyeballs. So my brother had no choice but to take the little fellow home with the ridicules excuse that this was a present for my late birthday. Of course totally bullshit because my birthday had passed two months; he just couldn’t resist to leave those cute tiny red fur ball on the flea market.

Stuck with a kitten

To make a long story short: suddenly I was stuck with this tiny sweet red little thing called kitten.

The moment they came back home from their fruitful trip, they right away deposited the fellow in my hands.

When I recovered from a ten minutes ‘aawwweee’-status, I came back to my positives with the Genius note: ‘it is alive!’.

At that moment the panic hit me. 6 thousand excuses came to mind why I couldn’t raise a kitten.

No I can’t. No I don’t want that. No I have to feed it and clean its poo. I am always busy and I don’t want the poor little thing staying all alone at home by his cuty self. What do I do when I go on vacation. I don’t want to have persons in my house blablablablablablabla.

A state of total panic hit me: now what??!! All my life I had been in love with cute kittens wherever I saw them. But that didn’t mean I would have aspirations to become a crazy cat lady! Most certainly not. Why has this cute little fur ball find his way to my being?

Here I sat on the couch in my own home; totally stressed out about those cute little eyes staring back too me. At my elderly home we always got cats, but then all the responsibility was for my mother Ha.

I even heard the poor little thing thinking “why mommy, (beats me why the fur ball would be thinking that I was his mommy) why is it you don’t want me?” Ohhh great! Now he’s doing his ‘look-I-am-pathetic’ thing with me. Aargghhhh + sweeping my arms through the air, reaching to the nearest ‘cat-exterminator’.

Hahaha did I scare you haha; nooo o f course not, I would never do that (I think). I’m no sadist you know; only when it comes to people who touch me without asking. And when they even should ask; I would tell them NOT to touch me!

In short: a lot of confusing panic and resistance took place in my head and I even scared the crap out of the little guy because of my hysterical polar bear impersonation.

So there I was alone at home stuck with this sweet little red thing kitten cat thing. And I most certainly was not ready to take responsibility for it….at all. I had my hands full with my own responsibility which consisted of determine whether to take marmalade or ‘hagelslag‘ (a Dutch sandwich filling consisting from a million little pieces of chocolate) on my bread because I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on groceries and I didn’t want to fat myself with sugar and the major dilemma every day what to eat at night.

So now was not a good time to want a cat. Besides that: I already had a street cat called Davy visiting me now and then. That was as busy as it got. No need for another one. Yet.

Little life-disturber

Well as soft as I am regarding cats; I decided to give Mickey a go and see how it would turn out.

The little life-disturber crawled up my paints along my waist during doing the dishes. Tiny claws clenched me into my flesh upon my legs as if I where a tree and then the red head sat there on my hip watching me in one eye and the other eye peeked in the direction of the washing up where I was now juggling with glasses through the air because of the distraction cat.

No matter how many times I put the little guy back on the ground; every time he crawled back on my shin and thigh again and again. Despite I danced everyday at my own studio and at the dance school I suddenly got a lot of extra exercise by having one simple cat. So for the folks who are far too lazy for joining a fitness institute: a couple of cats (kittens) will do the trick. And since the cat specie only stays kitten for about 6 months; it’s recommendable to refresh kitten every 6 months so you stay in shape.

Also my quiet night sleep was disturbed majorly; because all night through I got free serenades by a living fur ball. Within no time I was transformed in a living zombie because of this little red living kitten object who was trying to claim my attention in the middle of the nights in a very obnoxious irritating manner.

And to cap it all; at daytime I got real balcony scenes: something you’ve always dreamed for; a freaking screaming kitten inside and a freaking screaming cat owner outside. From now on sunbathing on my incredible tiny balcony was out of the question. My balcony was not really made for little kittens to discover the world on; except if they would decide to discover heaven already; then it should be a good idea because there was this small slit in which they could easily slip onto the downspout from which they could fall into a depth of approximately six meters.

Therefore, as very responsible kitten owner, I decided to leave the pussy inside, also because I wouldn’t have one moment to color myself and I would be the only one with pale skin in summer. Well it didn’t matter for my peace if the kitty was inside or on my balcony.

That’s where the meowing began. Heartbreaking meowing which reached as far as China (and I’m living in the Netherlands so that’s 7472km).

It all started out real kindly from my part; I was all about aaawwwwwweeeeeee little cutie, ok you can come outside too.

But as soon as Mickey was on the miniature balcony, he wrenched himself through the downspout onto the outer downspout peaking to the neighbors far downstairs. After I got my shoulder, which was stuck, out of that damn thing I had a 15 minutes struggle to catch the kittie.

So inside with the creature again. Back to sunbathing alone. I was on one part of the big glassed window and the pussy on the other side staring me with those ‘you-know’ eyes, Where it continued with the heartbreaking song again which got me ‘aawwweee cutie, what’s wrong? Do you want to come on the balcony again?!’ What a softy I was back then. ‘Chop, chop; here you go again!’. I intend to say “chop chop chop in the frying pan you go”. Butt I am a sweet person, at least so I act to the outside world.

There he went into the small pipe again and whatever I did, he kept on rushing to the stupid pipe. Which made me decide to put him back inside again where the unwearable cat noise started again. When I sat there with my head between my knees, hands over my ears, hairs in one big tangle war because of desperate movements, I figured this animal had been taken away from his mommy far too soon. I had read that somewhere on the NOTINTERNET (let me remember you: it was 1989).

Fortunately after several months of deafening screech, sleepless nights and Mickey falling from the roof one time (no joke, no fun) Mickey and I became real good friends and was he pretty much used to be a part of a mental institution haha.

I soon raised him to be a good dog and did he react very well when you threw paper balls which he every time would return. I even got him so far that he started barking as well which was very convenient.

Despite I had a hard time leaving him all alone by his cutie selfie when I went shopping or went on a vacation; things became more convenient and relaxed for both.

To make another story short: Mickey died at the age of 18 in 2007.

I will not harass you with my grief about him; but instead with the joy of being able to go outside freely and go on vacation without procrastinating to step in the car for four hours. And cry the whole trip to Italy about the poor thing being alone at home.

I was NOT gonna let that happen in my life ever again!! Never!! Did you hear: “NEVER”.

Severe kitten fever

Well at the time I didn’t take into account that there was going to leave this girl at my house, called ‘daughter’. She has been obsessed and even possessed by the kitten soul ever since I can remember. Mickey had been her big friend and she had been his personal dress assistant. She used to pimp him up in the most strange ways one can think of. That was before the mobile phone evolution; so we only took pictures of him once in a while.

It took her a long time too to get over our most beloved tough Mick. But the very last years, approximately for the last 4 years she started harassing me with thousands of kitten pics sending to my in boxes. She started to expand a severe kitten fever. Even when we passed each other I was not safe and did I have to view an arsenal of cat and kitten pictures. Of course with the usual selection of endearments.

That did go on for a couple of years and every time I had to put her down on earth with the remarks that it was very sad for cats to leave them all alone at home when we should go on vacations. With that remark I could keep her busy with for a while and did I fobbed her off everytime those cutiepetooties were pushed in my nose.

Well eventually the cat photo bombs got replaced by cat photo bombs with the compelling question when we would take a new kitten.

Now this was getting serious and I already predicted that this severe kitten wish would become out of control. I could fob off with some stuttering and nervous chuckle. But the girl daughter kept on stalking me with more and more photos and compelling desire.

It went on and on and on until I became in total state of inevitable confusion, panic and nightmares.

At night I sat down on the couch with my hands in my hair and within a short amount of time I suddenly became grayer. Stammered to my husband what to do now?! It’s your daughter I said: why did you have to gave her such an idiotic kitten DNA gen!

After a while for some reason my daughter became sort of more balanced and obviously more quiet about having a little furr ball again. Thank God she probably had seen the uselessness of bothering me with her cat desires.

Well at least I thought it did! Little did I know!

Spooky mindset swift

We’re writing 24 January 2017 and it was in the very early morning I wrote her a sms from our bedroom to her’s. Yes it is the digital era so we don’t walk around the house communicating like it is 1988.

I congratulated her with her birthday and she answered: “ThankYou! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😍😘😘😘😘🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉” and three seconds later: “WHERE IS MY KITTEN”.

Proof:

‘BANG’ it did inside my head; what was that? A spooky mindset swift took place. This was the absolute trigger for me that there needed something to be done and this was serious business.

We still were in bed and I discussed the dilemma(‘s) with the HusPup. I got the impression that he already was ready and determined to take a new kitten before I did.

Did he was in cahoots with his beloved daughter?! He showed me an app daughter apparently had sent the night before. There were an arsenal kittens available on the internet. Ohh My God; where am I getting myself into now!

I scrolled along those adorable tiny faces and abrupt stopped at the most cutest kitten face I had ever seen in my life. I said to Jaco: “wow! You must be very lucky if you can have such a cute and beautiful kitten like that!”. This kitten must be very expensive. And for at least half an hour I stayed in the AAWWWEEEE-mode.

Then I scrolled up and down and up and down the whole furry creatures list and every time I stopped at this most adorable cute little face. I instantly fell in love with her. She has the highest level of cuteness factor one can think of.

After three quarters of an hour I said to Jack: “what the heck: might aswell find out what they’re asking for this magic creature”. No sooner said than done we called the owner of the little sweetie.

Unfortunately this kitten was already going to a new owner, but to be sure, we took an option on the animal. We agreed on apping if things would change.

It was a big bummer and so we resumed the day to begin daughter’s birthday party.

At least I noticed that I overcame all the ‘having a cat dillema’s’ issue and was out of the blue ready for a new family member in the house.

Whole day I forgot all about the animal and we were about to leave for Raj’s birthday diner when we got a call. It was the owner of the kitten in question with the notice that the people who should take the little kittycat didn’t took the cat. The cute kitten didn’t fit their interior and interior color design and even if they would had wanted her, the owner would have said to go home empty handed because she definitely was NOT going to give her cats to such catloveless (I invented this word myself ok) people.

I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing and instantly there began an euphoria and rush feeling, because most probably we were going to get this cute little beautiful kitten called Isabella.

I didn’t hesitate once and the panic did not hit one single second; I felt a hundred procent sure this cuty was meant for us.

As soon as we got the message daughter send a picture to several people in her whatsapp list and got the unanimous response and label of ‘what an immense ‘cutie’ is she!

Later that week we were going to get this kitten with the highest ‘cuteness factor you can think of called Isabella. We fell in love!!

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