So there’s a red cow here
Completely useless observation from Schipluiden:
So there’s a red cow here.
Yes.
Completely red.
Why?
No idea.
Did someone at some point say: you know what’s still missing here? A bright red cow?
And did someone else then say: YES. EXACTLY. DO IT.
Why is that cow red?
Wasn’t a normal cow enough?
But then again, what is normal, right?
Thinks for a moment.
Moves on.
Who looked at this and thought: no. Something’s missing. Paint. Lots of red paint.
Now, in my 60 years of existence, I’ve seen a fairly reasonable number of cows pass by, but as far as I know, they’re not supposed to be red.
So now I want to know who did this.
Not because it’s not allowed.
As far as I’m concerned, a cow can be every color on the Gamma color chart.
But someone once consciously stood here and thought: you know what. Red.
And nobody stopped this.
That is concerning, to say the least.
Did that person have too much red paint left over in his shed.
Or did he think: I like red. The whole world should be painted red.
That’ll look nice.
And why does she have a weird buzzer around her neck?
Point one: Can that thing even buzz,
Two: she’s not going anywhere.
Thirdly: shouldn’t there be a cowbell there?
And what’s going on with that knobbly backside. Or is that a bovine expression of beauty?
Seems to me that the poor creature should eat a bit more pizza.
Or a steak.
10 of them or something.
Cooked medium rare.
I think he, because for some inexplicable reason every animal in my brain is a he and him, looks somewhat sad.
Is heshe not happy here.
Are his lungs full of exhaust fumes from passing traffic.
Does he miss a friend.
Did they take his children away.
Is he standing there waiting to be slaughtered.
Does that animal have a name.
Henk? Betsie? Calafandra? Pedro à La Carte? Red Cow?
Did Henk Betsie agree to being smeared as red as a tomato.
Does heshethey stand there at night too.
Doesn’t he ever get stolen.
That someone driving past in the middle of the night thinks: come on, I’ll throw that thing on my roof. Maybe it’ll fetch something on Marktplaats.
Does the real cow in the background know about this.
Is she an employee.
Does she get breaks.
I can imagine that being a red cow can be pretty exhausting and comes with special responsibilities.
Who takes care of her.
Who polishes her fiery red coat until it’s that shiny.
And why does nobody here seem remotely surprised by any of this?
Well, the cow is still red. I’m moving on.
