How my face got brutally sandwiched between elevator doors
Dutch Of all stupid things I experienced in my life (soon readable in my book ‘Surviving in a Fake World’); this was the day to add a totally almost catastrophic mildly cursed incident to...
Tagged: womanblogger
Turns out that when the rest of the world finally shuts the hell up, my own brain just starts yelling instead
Dutch So here I am. I think, for about 6.4 seconds, I’ll just pull over for a bit and enjoy the view. That enormous field, 38 sheep on standby, a few clouds casually hanging...
I’m slowly starting to suspect that laundry is actually indestructible.
I’m slowly starting to suspect that laundry is actually indestructible. I don’t really have any scientific evidence for this, of course. And I haven’t done any research into it either. But I’ve now spent...
Apparently I’m No Longer Trusted Around Insects
Dutch language So my family has apparently caught wind of my blog and, sure enough, I have now been presented with a turbo insect terminator that supposedly does not send tiny creatures straight to...
I found a disturbing deceased Dick-looking thing (or something)
Dutch So I just finished a chapter in my new book about some of my disturbing idiotic holiday adventures which are to stupid to be true; but they are I’m afraid. In between writing...
Probably they now are searching for us by the duckcommunity
Ducth Welcome to tiny escapes for overstimulated people which brings your breezy tangled up nervous system immediately to this panic-less place where you would think you could destress and escape the flipped algoritm for...
Staying fit with your annoying kid be like…
Dutch In the name of de-phoning, I made my own variant from destressing, sometimes you have to snatch your child away from screens you know. You totally have to drag them in completely unnecessary...
The Quarrelsome Meerkats That Were Exterminated by The Zoo
Read in Dutch Since January this year, our entire family collectively got zoo subscriptions. Because yes: baby in da house, so that means staring at ridiculous animals and dragging ourselves through the Rotterdam Zoo...
Probably the only woman in the world who never wanted to be a grandma
Read in Dutch I am probably the only woman in the world who never wanted to be a grandma. Ever. Never ever! Yes seriously. And no: I don’t understand either. But so don’t I...
Waarschijnlijk de enige vrouw ter wereld die nooit oma wilde worden
Read in English Ik ben waarschijnlijk de enige vrouw ter wereld die nooit oma wilde worden. Nooit. Echt nóóit. Serieus. En nee: ik begrijp het zelf ook niet. Maar ik begrijp cactussen ook niet,...
Why Isn’t Your Face Working??
Read in Dutch When you suddenly hear yourself saying: “Why isn’t your face working??” To a husband who is just doing the dishes while I urgently need to unlock his iPhone because a set...
Disturbed Lunatic Caressing a Piece of Ordinary Cardboard
Yesterday my last three functioning brain cells collectively decided I could no longer tell the difference between ridiculously luxurious design-like felt panels and a completely ordinary white cardboard box at the home improvement store...
A Mysterious Number Called Me in the Middle of the Night
The most scary thing in life for me is when you are fast asleep, dreaming about sitting on the head of a giraffe and you wonder if you should slide down the gigantic neck...
Wij startten een espressobedrijf voordat ChatGPT ons kon vertellen dat we moesten stoppen
In 1989, voordat internet bestond en voordat iedere peuter al een startupmindset en een podcast had, besloten Jaco en ik op de een of andere manier dat het een volkomen redelijke levenskeuze zou zijn...
50-Year-Old Pencils That Outlasted Great Glitter Shortage
Dutch Translation These pencils, yes, 50 years old or more; have outlasted the great glitter shortage, flip phones, the rise and fall of tamagotchi empires, my questionable attempt at macramé wall art.and my patience...
50 Jaar Oude Potloden Die De Grote Glittertekorten Overleefden
English Translation Deze potloden, zijn 50 jaar oud (of zelfs ouder); hebben de grote glittertekorten, fliptelefoons, de opkomst en ondergang van de tamagotchi-empires, mijn twijfelachtige poging tot macramé-wandkunst en mijn geduld voor moderne potloden...
Decoding My Cryptic Celesta-Menu Changes
What’s Behind the Celesta-Menu Shift Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn’t: but my Celesta-menu has changed a tiny bit. It’s not that shocking; but if you know what’s behind it; it maybe well could...
Genetic Mystery: Navigating the Unknowns of Parental DNA Contributions
When you’re not exactly sure what in the bleep for DNA you passed on to your daughter while I’m still trying to figure out if I accidentally downloaded the “Clumsy Gene” app instead of...
How would it have been to be in the same classroom as your parents, kids or spouse
Do you ever fantasize how it would have been to be in the same classroom as your parents, kids or spouse?That is without the knowledge of being family. Just like in ‘Back to the...
This video shows me lying
This TikTok video of mine is of course one big joke. At least for me personally, but I can assure you it is totally relevant to the majority of people on this earth f***....
